


Jerkass Dissonance

by Ishmael



Series: Two Guys Walk into a Bar [1]
Category: DCU, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Bullying, Coming Out, Comment Fic, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Manipulation, Episode Tag, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 01:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3310199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishmael/pseuds/Ishmael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We started talking a little. I knew about his parents disowning him so he came off," Cisco laughs, bitter as he mocks himself. "Misunderstood. Classic, right? It's not that he's an ass, it's that he's been hurt so badly he lashes out at everyone."</p><p>In which Cisco and Barry have a drink post S1E12 and Cisco talks about how Hartley was an asshole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jerkass Dissonance

**Author's Note:**

> A short unbeta'd ficlet that refused to stop distracting me from what I'd been working on until I finished it. Throw in a TVtropes reference that looks relevant for the title and I'm calling it done.  
> Apparently I'm going to end up slashing every speedster I come across. Oops?
> 
> Hartley is not portrayed sympathetically in this fic, nor is his relationship with Cisco in any way healthy. If you don't like that, give this a pass.

Barry finally took Cisco up on that drink—Caitlin has temporarily sworn off alcohol so it's just the two of them. One of them, really, since Barry isn't affected. But it's companionable and Cisco clearly needed something after everything with Ronnie and Hartley.

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. "Why do you hate Hartley so much? I mean, I know he's a jerk, but I don't think I've ever seen you so angry before."

"He's done a lot of things. Variations of the same thing, really--he thought he was better than me and rubbed that in my face every chance he got." Cisco scowls into his beer. It's a strange expression on him. "I'm used to bullies. Or I thought it was, anyway, but Hartley is smart enough to know how to get to people. _Really_ get to people."

"I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, it's only fair. Caitlin and Dr Wells already know. Or know most of it, anyway. Just—" He smiles but it looks like a wince. "Buy me another round?"

"Sure." Barry gets up.

"Make it two," Cisco adds as soon as he turns. "I know you're good for taking me home if I get smashed."

"Cisco—"

"I'm joking! Hangovers aren't fun. I want to think a little less about it as I talk. It's not a nice memory."

Barry brings back a pitcher, figuring he can finish it off if Cisco gets too far gone.

"Thanks." Cisco takes a couple swigs, sighs, and begins. "At first he made my life hell. But after a little time passed, maybe a month? He changed."

"Changed how?"

"It was little stuff, like he wouldn't move away when I came into a room, made fewer snide comments, asked me for my opinions in a way that wasn't a test, but really asking." Cisco looks at his glass instead of Barry. "I didn't believe it, didn't trust it. I knew better. But it kept up anytime we were alone. I avoided him in the beginning, obviously, but once he started being less of a dick I let it happen more often. We started talking a little. I knew about his parents disowning him, so he came off," Cisco laughs, bitter. "Misunderstood. Classic, right? It's not that he's an ass, it's that he's been hurt so badly he lashes out at everyone."

Barry doesn't like where this is heading. "You don't have to—"

"I do. I really do." Cisco turns to look at Barry and he smiles a little, like seeing Barry makes it easier. "It's not like I forgot all the things he'd said, but it was, y'know, like I was seeing a different side of him, underneath the asshole outer shell. So he was being nicer, and we were talking a little, and later on sometimes we'd look at each other, and, um." Cisco shifts, biting his lip, and takes a long swallow of beer. Barry watches his Adams apple bob so fast it's more a twitch. "It was _looking_ looking."

"As in?" Barry waves his hands like that can somehow encompass what they both mean but don't want to say.

"Yeah. But I wasn't sure, because I'd had crushes plenty of times but I'd never—" He finishes the glass and fills it up. Barry downs his and does the same, figuring the gesture of solidarity would be good even if it was useless.

"So it kept happening, and it got to the point I _knew_ I wasn't imagining it. So I—"

"Cisco—" This isn't the fun distracting bar evening he'd hoped for and Cisco seems to want somebody to listen and Barry is glad to be that person, but this feels like something better said somewhere that isn't a bar.

"Nothing happened, ok? _Nothing_ , it was all talk." Cisco's face goes tight with anger. "He decided he'd had enough fun and threw it all back in my face. Everything I'd said about my life, my dreams. He laughed about how stupid I was to think I'd ever have a chance with him. It'd all been a trick. Little Cisco, dumb enough to trust people." He laughs but it's a terrible sound.

Barry decides that punching Hartley whenever they catch that creep is the absolute least he can do.

Cisco waves his arms, hair flying in every direction. "I was so _stupid._ It wasn't even the first time somebody has done that and I _knew_ he was a manipulative creep I fell for it like an idiot."

There aren't words, so Barry puts an arm around Cisco.

"I couldn't tell Caitlin. I couldn't tell _anyone_. It was bad enough already." He shakes his head, hair covering his face. "And like I said, all we did was talk. He'd acted the same way when everyone else was in the room. It was like it was all in my head. I had no proof and even though everyone hated Hartley the idea that he'd, he'd _flirted_ with me would be ludicrous. I'd sound like I was trying to use him being gay against him. He'd planned farther ahead than I could see and he knew it."

"Jesus, Cisco." The scramble for something, _anything_ to say makes him throw out the first thought that come to mind. "What a dick."

That gets a tiny laugh out of Cisco, a real laugh. "You said it." When he drinks this time it's not got the angry urgency of before. "After, he'd make these comments, refer to things I'd said when we were alone. All of them sounded innocuous. It was his new favorite game."

Cisco leans into Barry's arm, a little tension easing from his back. "I got angry. It made me seem like I was going off on him for no reason. Dr Wells yelled at me a few times."

If anyone had asked about Cisco getting angry in the time Barry has known him, it would've been unthinkable. Cisco was jokes and enthusiasm, nerdy shirts and candy, not bitterness and frustration. But that's part of him too, and the way he bounces back from it is amazing.

He sighs, "And look at me now. I let him get to me again and now that asshole is loose because of me."

"It's not your fault he's a genius asshole. Cisco, you're, I mean, you're amazing. You're funny, and you're enthusiastic and dedicated and I couldn't have asked for somebody better at my side. I never would've guessed something like this had happened, and that's a sign of how strong you are. You don't let anything get you down, not even Hartley."

Cisco raises his glass, and Barry picks up his with his free hand. He hadn't even noticed he still had an arm around Cisco, but it's not weird. It's comfortable.

But Cisco leans away, glancing at the offending arm now that he's paying attention too. "You don't mind?"

"Mind what?"

"The uh, I'm sometimes-into-guys thing?"

Barry ruffles Cisco's hair a little as he pulls his arm back. "Of course not. That's not—of all the things I'd mind that isn't one of them. I hate how he hurt you, and that you—"

"Had the worst bi-realization ever?"

"That, yeah. But we're good. It means a lot, you telling me all of this."

"I've been thinking about telling Caitlin. Full disclosure, and all that, but with Ronnie," he trails off. "It doesn't feel like time."

"Will it ever?" It's Barry's turn to look into his beer.

"No."

"So, maybe you should just tell her."

"Yeah." Cisco sips his beer, contemplative. "Thanks for listening. I hadn't realized how much better I'd feel letting it all out."

"Hey, I talk about my Iris-woes enough. It's only fair."

"To sucking at love," Cisco raises for another toast.

"To finding it one day," Barry counters, clinking his glass.

"You should call that girl. Linda, was it?"

Barry shakes his head. "Some other time. Tonight's our night. Drink all you want. You can get a ride home on the Barry express if—"

Cisco chokes on his drink

Barry is sputtering his recovery, "I didn't mean—"

"No, I know you'd never—"

His words tumble out and tangle over each other. " _Never_ is a strong word and _wow_ that is not helping at all I'm so sorry—" Before he can make it any worse he shuts up.

They spend a minute flushed and staring before Cisco breaks the silence.

"Did you just—"

"No? I don't know! I mean, I've spent so long in love with Iris I don't even know how I feel about anyone else and I know that's not exactly healthy and sometimes I wonder—"

Cisco waves a hand in front of his face like he's trying to flag down a bull. "Barry?"

"Yeah?"

"I think this is enough for tonight."

"Yeah." They spend a few moments in silence, the chatter of the bar and the background noise filtering back in.

Cisco drums his hands on the table, decisive. "I'm going to finish this pitcher, and we're going to talk Star Trek, and anything else can be left for later."

"Later, right." This isn't a brush-off later, but a let's-wait later. Tonight is bad timing and maybe this is all awkward and nothing will happen but it's there, untapped potential.

Cisco smiles and all's right with the world.


End file.
